So...What's Next?!?

Learning How to be a Team Player

I did not play sports growing up. I was on the waterpolo team briefly, but only because of sibling pressure and all I really did was hand out towels. I was really not involved with any clubs or bands. I joined one club, a charity club in high school but as soon as they tried to put me in a leadership role I quit.

Lately I have been reflecting on a high school memory. It was a lesson on being a leader or a follower. I hated the lesson and really did not find it valuable, accurate, or any way  beneficial to anyone. The instructors/counselors gave us questionnaires and our answers were supposed to expose whether we were leaders or followers. I did not want to be a leader. I thought of myself as being in a third category that was not being considered. I was independent.

So I answered the questions trying to avoid being tagged as a leader and was instead tagged a "follower" which was at least funny to me.

What I realize lately is that I have spent so much of my life wanting to be independent that now that I have accepted leadership roles and want to embrace the opportunities in my life I have something else to learn, how to be a team player.

Now, I was told this by one of my coaches last year, but I just assumed he had not been paying attention to who I am. I mean, I won the "peer evaluated team work award" multiple times in a previous job. I would say one of my best attributes is bringing people together to work on a project and I get along with most people, not all people, but who gets along with all people? I have also been told numerous times in my career that I am a very good listener and know how to respond to people individually. Damn it - I am a damn good team player!

But recently I have allowed myself to take on responsibilities that push the envelop a little more and I find that the reason people think I am a team player is I do not or try really hard not to let anyone down. But that often means I just do everything myself (independent). I also tend to be stubborn and not open to collaboration or to cooperation with team members who are not thinking along the same lines as me (independent). As a leader I may be able to bring people together but I am still learning the art of delegating and setting expectations. It is an art, because I have delegated and set expectations and have gotten backlash from it that I was being too bossy...I know that leadership should not be considered bossy - so I am trying to figure out that balance. I suspect it goes back to the idea that I need to learn how to collaborate and cooperate as well.

But here is where I am now. There was a time, within the past several months actually, that I would look at this situation and say "I am not cut out for this, I quit." However because of several wonderful people in my life I learned that I did have many talents that were needed and that were not being utilized properly because I was not willing to exercise the areas where I was weaker. The people that seem to have it all, have it all because they do not quit, they work on areas they need to work on and grow where they need to grow.

I am no longer ashamed when I have to say "that is an area that is still a learning curve for me" I am actually proud now. I know that the people around me have faith in me that I will learn and get better and they are able to see who I can become as well as appreciate who I am now.  They are teaching me how to lead and how to work as a team by simply providing patience as well as good examples for me to follow.

However, if anyone has any good books they recommend on this subject - let me know.

The Importance of Chemistry

If you have dated or even have friends or even family and co-workers, you have experienced the type of chemistry that I am going to discuss.

It is something that is hard to describe. It fact, sometimes often times, chemistry overrides all logical arguments - as does intuition, which may be an offshoot of chemistry.

This journey has been like a rapidly moving train through many uncharted territories. Throughout the journey I have had several guides that were appropriate for the time and place I was at. As the train continued to move forward, the chemistry would begin to change and we would have to move apart because my new territory required a new guide. Many times the relationships had no logical reasoning, or at least nothing really solid, but they worked and they worked because of chemistry. Together with many people we have accomplished a lot with little. We have aligned our passions and knowledge to cut through the thicket that was in our way.

When we ceased to work together, it was also because of chemistry.

I have now come to a point where the train seems to be slowing down to a reasonable pace. My heart is no longer pounding as if I were in survivor mode (see,  because I was in survivor mode, but now I am not).

As things are stabilizing I am sitting down daily to plan out the landscape of the company I am creating. The processes and guidelines, the offerings, even the budgets (ugh). I am listing out roles and responsibilities for specific positions and skills and knowledge required. However, the one thing I have always suspected and has been increasingly confirmed is the importance of chemistry. All other things can be worked through or worked around.

If only chemistry was something I could list out and put into a job description.