So...What's Next?!?

today's quote

You cannot step in the same river twice, because by the second step it will have already changed.

Today's Quote

Luck is chance, and most of us have an equal share of both good and bad luck. But many of us fail to enjoy the good luck that ought to be ours simply because we do not have the necessary positive persistence to carry us through the bad luck that happens to hit us first.

The Secret of the Ages

Quote of the day

"Magnify your faith in yourself and you will minimize the obstacles in your way."

- The Secret of the Ages

Today's Lesson

For the past year I have been really focused on improving the areas in my life and personal habits that tend to hold me back or make things difficult. I have a little black book where I have been taking some notes, but as anyone following this blog knows, occasionally I also share my lessons learned here.

So I just got off the phone with my account manager at Webex. She is a very good account manager, knowledgeable, professional, and dependable. The problem is she is trying to do her job and I simply will not allow it. She wants to schedule me for all this training and coaching I am eligible for, show me where all my resources are and demo all the things that are available to me. The thing is I do not want all of that. Their basic package is way more than I want to deal with. So during the 30 minute demonstration that I finally agreed to sit through I asked the big question that has been bothering me which is why did I have video capabilities when I was using their free demo and I do not have it now that I am paying for this service. The answer was they do not support video on a Mac....oh wrong answer. I went round and round with her that while I used the demo that I signed up for online I had video and I would not buy ANY service that does not support a Mac and that we REALLY need to escalate this. At this point she completely lost my attention and I ended the call. I really did not want to hear more about services I probably would never use when we had not resolved the issue of the one service that I want to use.

Here is the positive side. I did not lose my temper...I remained respectful to her explaining that I simply did not have the patience to sit through any more of the demo and assuring her I knew how to use the service since I have already been using it for a few months now. I had 3 main questions which she answered 2 of them, and I needed to get back to other tasks at hand.  If you could witness the temper in my family during such situations, especially my oldest brother, you would understand that whether it is nature or nurture, when it comes to losing our temper due to impatience and not getting our way I am on the calm side by comparison. However I have recognized I still have lots of room for improvement and today I did see some improvement as well as more opportunity to continue to improve.

The reality is she only needed my attention for 15 more minutes but I cut her off. I should have given her that 15 minutes out of respect and the possibility I might have learned something I did not know that I did not know. I should have jotted down the issue with the video, asked when I would expect a follow up about the issue, and then put it aside while I listened to the rest of the presentation.

I didn't do that, but I have made a mental note to proceed in such a manner the next time I find myself in a similar situation.

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.

-Doug Firebaugh

Addiction

I have no caffeine in my system right now. Tomorrow is my metabolism test and I have to avoid caffeine and alcohol for 48 hours prior to the test.

You have no idea how bad I feel right now. I do not know if I should just go to sleep or keep pushing forward. I am jittery and really having a hard time focusing. I am starting to feel a bit edgy as well.

This is just caffeine I am taking about! I am incredibly thankful I have never fallen into the addictions of drugs, or the  other various things people get addicted to.

It does concern me how dependent I have become on caffeine and I am thinking about giving it up. But then I wonder if I can function in life without it? Will my body adjust? I suppose this is what people with other dependencies go through, it seems risky to quit because I do not know how to function in life without it.

Logically I know that my body will adjust. I have even heard from others that my energy would increase and become more stable. But logic is not nearly as strong as the physical need for the substance.

I have no doubt that I can make it until tomorrow morning when I have my test but my concern is the thought that makes me relax is knowing I can order a grande mocha from Starbucks right after my test and just before the start of the 3 meetings I have planned for tomorrow. So everything will be ok. But what if I decide to give up caffeine, to take the leap....well then I will not be able to function in those 3 meetings. So, perhaps I should wait until the timing is better to give up. I am thinking next week when we are at the beach.

I don't know...maybe some addictions are ok to have. It is not necessarily hurting me right?

But I hate to think that I am addicted to anything. I think mind over matter is called for here. But I need some coffee before I can engage my mind.

It is not I who become addicted, it is my body.         - Jean Cocteau

Learning By Doing

Chris Brogan's newsletter had an interesting Microsoft v. Google comparison that resonated with me.

Lohr says that Google has proven that a "learning by doing" strategy can (and did) trump the Microsoft approach. Some analysts say this is just another version of the network effect in action, only at a slight remove. They liken it to the foreign affairs term, "soft power," which is more about influence than direct force.

This "learning by doing" strategy is exactly why we are seeing changes accelerating. I think of Twitter. In 2007 when I first saw Twitter I could only think of a few applications that it could be used for, but I signed up and played around with it. The more I use it and tell people personal stories about how Twitter has been a great tool for me as a light user, I see more and more people signing up. I have also had the opportunity to "get to know" people from all around the country.

The thing that concerns me when I consult with certain organizations is when I feel there is a "let's wait and see" approach. That is the same approach I have also witnessed from what I call "wanna be" entrepreneurs. I do not use that term as a negative, it is just that they want to be "entrepreneurs" but can not take the plung and learn by doing. This has and will continue to leave many behind.

I have also been thinking a bit about the concept of "start with the end in mind" and I think that may leave little room for exploration. I wonder if a fuzzy vision might be better. There is a quote I like,

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

I did have a vision in mind, but I did not have a solid plan or an end in mind when I started this journey, so I have been learning by doing. And on that note, what end? Why would I want to consider an end? I have been told by a few very smart and well accomplished people that if I build this agency to the vision I have in mind I could sell it in 5-7 years. OK. I have that in mind and I am making sure I get some ducks in order, but would I consider that an end? Nope - who knows what I would do if I was able to sell it. Perhaps I would be having too much fun and would not want to sell it. Perhaps I would merge with others. Perhaps I would decide it was time to radically change the business model. Who knows...after all, each day I learn what I am doing by doing it.

 

Watercolors and a Blank Canvas

Today at the Zen Center they hosted a Dharma Battle, where each person can challenge the Dharma teachings.

There was the ongoing question about what is the purpose of emptiness. That question was asked over and over again in many different ways.

This is actually one of the tough questions of which I have found a personally satisfying answer.

It seems my answers keep going back to a movie I saw a number of years ago, What Dreams May Come.

What I understand from my studies of Buddhism when I was in college to my studies of metaphysics the past 6 years to now my attempted practice of Zen Buddhism can all be summed up in that movie.

Let's see how many different ways we can explain this...

In the movie, in the afterlife, the woman is in hell, which we find only exist in her mind. We also learn that no one can help her escape hell. There is nothing we can do to help the person. They are consumed by their thoughts that keep them in hell.

What I get from that is when someone is filled with thoughts, ideas, and opinions, there is no room left to add to their experience. For us to add more experience to our lives to understand more, we have to release what we think we know.

In that movie it is suggested we can create our own experiences. I actually explained this today during the discussion. That my understanding of metaphysics is that we can create our own experiences, combine that with my understanding of Buddhism and emptiness, we need a blank canvas in order to create. We can continuously recreate our experiences as well, as long as we know how to return to a blank canvas.

My idea was challenged that we may become attached to our creations and eventually boxed in by our creations.

That was when the art in the movie What Dreams May Come really became more relevant to my understanding. In the movie they use a lot of watercolors. Anyone who has painted with watercolors knows how challenging it is to be attached to the desired outcome when painting with watercolors, that watercolors are not boxed in and that because it is water-based, can be easily washed away.

The teaching that all is nothing and nothing is everything is very peculiar. But I think it is simply that idea of unlimited choices to create and recreate. To shift and change, to go with the flow of life but not be contained or limited or restricted by the flow of life.

"Boy, I screwed up. I'm in dog heaven."
Chris Nielsen, What Dreams May Come.

Best Movie Line

Last night my family and I went down to Decatur Square for their "beach party." We ended up just having a nice long meal at Noodles playing a variety of movie games.

My husband made the comment that one of his favorite characters is Weebo in the movie Flubber because, like Weebo,  he can see movie scenes in his mind as they relate to specific events happening in real life.

I guess I am the romantic at heart as well in that I see movie scenes in my head related to how I wish life would be sometimes.

Today, the movie I am thinking about is "As Good as it Gets."

This is my favorite scene:

You know sometimes in life you meet people, people who tug at your heart, not in a romantic way, but in a way that you know there is so much to them, so much that needs to be released, and you wonder why you might be the one to see such life in that person, and why should you care so much. Like in this movie, sometimes life pushes two people together in such a way that perhaps they are meant to help each other move forward, but in the process they end up hurting each other over and over again. The reality is, something I have known my entire life, you can not change a person, or make them want to change, or make them want to live up to the life that you know they can live. But still, the line in this movie, "You Make Me Want to be a Better Man" is one of the greatest lines in movie magic.

Posting vs Twittering

via Twitter I learned about a service called ping.fm and was invited into the beta. Like FriendFeed, and Plaxo Pulse, Ping.fm is trying to solve the problem of being in too many networks.

But here is the problem. When I post to ping.fm all I am doing is posting what I am doing. It is not a conversation. Which is fine. On Facebook and LinkedIN and others that is all the posting is meant to do anyway.

Twitter is where I go when I want to be involved with what others are doing. I actually rarely post what it is I am doing in Facebook and LinkedIN - but with Ping.fm I might just start, because I know it will be updated in all my networks.

The thing is it is important for people to realize you "go to certain places" i.e. use certain tools or visit certain social networks for a particular reason. It's like choosing what to eat or where to eat. You make your choices based on what you want to get out of the experience.

A couple of years ago when I was hearing the complaints about too many networks, I assured people that there were some of the brightest entrepreneurs already on the job trying to solve the problem. Everyday I see new tools that are the next step to a solution to some of the pains we feel in social media.

So....

"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
- Bob Marley

Getting Spiritual

Today I visited the Atlanta Soto Zen center. I attended the newcomers introduction to Zen where we learned a brief history of Siddhartha Gautama, practiced a few of the rituals or protocols and then we were escorted into the mediation room for 25 minutes of sitting.

From there we did chants and then we sat for some Q&A.

Although I have studied Buddhism in college and through various other books, I have never attended any Buddhist center until today.

Unity North, the spiritual center I have been attending for 4 years invites Tibetan Monks each year to perform the Sand Mandala.
This is a neat ritual that is meant to illustrate that all things are always in transition. It is meant to show the importance of not clinging.

Today in the newcomers introduction I learned that the walking mediation is a symbol of leaving things in the past. As you walk you let things be in the past as you move into nothingness.

The concept of nothingness has alway eluded me - I just never understood the point of achieving a state of nothingness.

However when I listened more today and connected the teachings with those of Metaphysics that Unity teaches I start to gain more of my own understanding.

There was a great story that was told today that illustrates my understanding. Some guy was meeting with a Zen master and when the Zen master poured the guys a cup of tea he continued to pour the tea until the cup overflowed. The guy pointed out that the Zen master spilled the tea. The Zen master responded that just like the tea cup that had no more room to add any more tea, so was this man who was so full of his ideas and thoughts about Zen mediation and therefore left no more room for the master to add.

In Metaphysic teaching we learn that our thoughts, ideas, feelings,  desires, and of course the actions that occur because of our thoughts, ideas, feelings, desires create our reality. So if you want to change your life or create something more you need to adjust your thoughts, ideas, feelings and desires which will then help you to adjust your actions.

But for me there was something missing in that teaching. What was missing is the importance of achieving nothingness.

If I wanted to paint a picture, it would be much easier to start with a blank canvas than to start with a canvas that I have been splattering with paint for so many years.

So - I am not changing spiritual centers. I think both Unity North and the Zen center are great compliments to each other for this stage in my life.

By choosing your thoughts,
and by selecting which emotional currents you will release
and which you will reinforce,
you determine the quality of your Light.
You determine the effects that you will have upon others,
and the nature of the
experiences of your life.
~ Gary Zukav - from "Seat Of The Soul" ~