So...What's Next?!?

Living Life in Appreciation

I have mentioned before that I am a fan of Dan Carlin's Hardcore History Podcast. It is focused on war history mostly, which would not interest me except his approach is more the human stories of war.

The stories can be incredibly disturbing. And then I turn on the news and I realize that these stories are not just the human stories of our past, but these exact same stories are happening right now, at this moment in various parts of the world.

On one side my awareness of the challenges people are going through around the world disturbs me. I imagine what it must be like to not be sure if I can feed my children, get them medical attention, or to worry about a group of rebels coming through my neighborhood and shooting everyone in sight and burning up the rest. Women being captured to be slaves and very young boys being turned into killers. I think about my husband being falsely accused of betraying his country and sent to a torture camp. All of these thoughts seem unbearable and yet in so many places this is what women my age are going through. This is the real life experience of so many people in the world today.

So how has this impacted me? Of course this is not a new realization. For as long as I can remember I have known that people in the world are suffering in ways that I could not imagine. But I think I have done what most people do and I ignored it, or felt sympathy maybe spoke out briefly, but then moved on with my life.

Lately it has been different. Lately I have been really appreciating everything I have in life and realizing how wealthy I am. Obviously in comparison to others in my life, I am not considered wealthy...but that is truly a perspective.

While we were on vacation I valued the moments and experiences we were able to share with each other. When I eat a meal I really take a moment to appreciate the flavors and the abundance of food available to me. Even though I struggle with my weight, it is a privileged to have such an abundance that I have to struggle to limit my intake. I walk out in the hot summer heat and appreciate the air condition is available to me.

Truly the list just goes on and on and many things on the list are things that are not commonly known to a majority of the population and are not things that have been available for more than a couple of generations.

I wonder when people are busy striving for more and looking at all that they don't have if they ever stop for just a moment to realize all that they do have.

how social media is changing us

I have never been a person to blindly follow rules. The rules have to make sense to me before I agree to follow them.

Now most of the rules do make sense, but there are some societal rules that I have challenged, and many that I have conceded to after the value of them was proven to me. There were times that I won the challenge though...and so I continue to question, continue to challenge.

So, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I just finished reading the book, Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, Many things in the book has me questioning some of my actions, some of the things I do, some of the things I share. For example, my last post would be criticized by the followers of the "rules" in that book, and so I find myself looking at it and questioning why I posted it. Why did I share my inner thoughts and insecurities? What kind of damage could have been done - did I sabotage my career, as the book would suggest.

This blog is supposed to be about me, personally; My ramblings, thoughts, ideas, emotions, and experiences. Wait - we are not supposed to put that stuff out there.

"OK" I think, "so how could I have crafted that last post to follow the 'rules.'"

I could have highlighted what I did right, how I was honored to be at the table with the thought leaders and influencers of this city. How I was able to answer questions and position social media in a way that enabled the conversation to progress further toward implementing the strategies I recommended. There was a lot I could have shined a light on - I am very proud of that moment, but I want more, I want to be better.

That is what I was feeling and what I chose to share. I think that is also what will connect my thoughts and feelings with other people who might need their own "kick in the ass." If I just highlighted what went well - that would have a good affect, I would have enhanced my "brand" and readers could learn from it. But something would have been lost - the experience of needing to find a way to keep myself motivated and going, not just strong, but stronger.

I have been tossing these thoughts around a bit and then I thought about my video that I posted recently.

I have received a tremendous amount of HONEST feedback from friends and strangers alike. One stranger sent me a long email telling me what he thought about it - it was not "positive" but it was honest and he had some really good points. One of his concerns was that it was too basic, that I needed to let people know the content was for beginners. That was helpful, and I took the advice and added that to the YouTube video as well as mention it when I share it with others. I know to set expectations of what the video will offer. He also felt that I needed to sign off at the end of the video, which is something we discussed during the editing process but decided we will start doing the next time. He confirmed our thoughts of what we needed to do.

In the world of "rules" a stranger should not send you a long detailed email telling you what he did not like about something you did, but social media has changed those rules. We now "tell it like we see it" and those of us who advocate for that level of dialog see the value of the good, bad and ugly.

A couple of friends did not like the background of the video, but some people did. Another friend liked everything about the video except for when I did the "air quotes."

What I have learned through all of this feedback is everyone has an opinion and I like that they are sharing them - good, bad, and ugly. It has helped me to know what I can adjust and change and what is simply a single person's opinion which I may or may not agree with.

But all of this information sharing and idea sharing could not happen if we go through life following rules of a society that would say that we don't share the bad and ugly; Not just of our body of work, but of our journeys.

I saw something a friend posted on his status the other day. He said when you say great things about yourself, you are selling, when others say great things about you - it's true.

I just had lunch with a friend who was very complemetary of all that I have accomplished. I feel that my work has spoken very good things about me and that the word is spread through the people who know me. I don't feel I am necessarily "sabbotaging" my career by expressing the ups and the downs of this journey.

But who knows...I could be wrong...

Bring it!

I do not think Daddy-O realizes how much he inspired me yesterday.

My friend Tim Moenk came to the Fuzebox offices and I toured him through the studio. When Daddy-O came in I was anxious to start a dialog between the two of them. Both are very forward thinking and passionate about the future. Actually - passionate would be an understatement.

Anyway, Daddy-O started talking about the future - which is not really the future - more like the present realities for celebrities and artists. He was making points that I was making a few years ago, but from his perspective and the realities of the world and connections he has.

He was saying how when he started Hip Hop was pure and raw and then the industry took over everything got pushed into medicracy - because that is what you need to sell to the masses - and artists have been wanting the real stuff to come back. Note this is my cliff notes of what he was saying - you have to experience Daddy-O in person.

Anyway - everything he was saying is what I have been expressing in my own way about the world of music. Then he said that the real stuff is back - just not in the same way - it's back in that you have to "bring it." You cannot be mediocre, mediocracy will not cut through the noise. The industry is not in control anymore, the fans are and they will choose what they want to listen to. And not only that you don't get 15 minutes of fame anymore! "That shit's been cut down to MAYBE 2 minutes." But there are artists out there who do not mind - they will take their two minutes, but in rapid fire. Take Lil' Wayne. He says fine - 2 minutes - but you will get my 2 minutes over and over and over again. A sound here - a rap there - No one can ever get away from Lil' Wayne.

But taking the mic and being mediocre, that doesn't play anymore. And the people who deserve the spotlight - they know it and they are stepping up and they are bingin' it.

I sat there realizing that what he was saying was not just about artists and entertainers, but about business people as well.

Mediocre, good enough,  even better than average - is not enough. We have to "bring it!"

Why Mainstream News is Failing

I tend to keep my television on CNN for background news when I am working at home. What I have noticed over the years is that the same stories are repeated over and over again for a week. I am sure that the people at CNN are very hard working, but I do not understand the work they put into creating a story. It seems they produce a few pieces and then run it over and over and over again. I am assuming that all of the work they put into the production of a story limits them from the number of stories they are able to tell. Literally I would suspect that less than 10 stories are really told per week.

That is not the real problem though. The real problem is that when I change the channel to another news program (NOT FOX), like Morning News on ABC or something, it is the same stories. I open my RSS reader where I subscribe to AJC, NYT, WSJ, and so forth and there are the same stories again. Why bother and none of them have any unique spin on the story.

On my drive to work in the morning I listen to NPR. That is when I get to hear something different. Yesterday I heard a story about the kids in Clarkston, GA who are refugees from many war torn countries. Kids who have seen the worse things imaginable, from their parents being killed or their mothers and sisters being raped, who have made it to this country only to be brought to small cities that do not want them.

On the mainstream news I have not been able to avoid the very sad story of the 11 year old boy who was verbally bullied to the point that he hung himself. However only on NPR did I hear the story of the young boy in Clarkston who was beat up and accused of being in the Taliban because he was from Iraq, and in reality the boys parents were killed by the Taliban. The past 24 hours my thoughts have been consumed by the differences between these two boys. The whys and the hows of each situation just overwhelms me.

These children, the refugees, they faced very harsh situations, and their story on NPR was about how they gathered together to play soccer and how a woman from one of those countries who travelled to the US for a higher education saw them playing in a parking lot and took on the task to coach them. How the community including the Mayor of the city refused to allow these kids to play on the one available field in the city, but how they rised above and now have a very spirited soccer team.

That is a news story!

That is the type of stories I find in blogs and independent niched news media.

We are in a world where there are many more demands on our attention than ever before. Where we spend that attention is not in places that replays the same overly produced stories over and over again, but in places where we get the news we need as well as the stories that inspire us.

At least that is where I would prefer to spend my attention, and considering the vast numbers of mainstream media that is failing, and niched content that is growing, I would say I am not the only person that feels that way.

At What Point Do Adults Forget What It Was Like to Be a Kid?!?

I do not know, maybe it is because I am the youngest child or maybe it is because I was so young when I had my first child, or maybe it is my insane memory that perfectly records every moment of my life that has strong emotions tied to it, but I very much remember my youth.

When my oldest son goes through what he goes through, I NEVER even THINK about saying "kids these days..." as though I do not understand. I am able to say yep - that happened to me too....

So, I am going through my various alerts about social media and I come across this article....

Who is Raising Our Children, “Social Networks” or Parents?

This articles captures and keeps my attention for MANY reasons...
1. If you are an involved parent - nothing will be a substitute. My son and I get to share our experience and findings on Facebook (although I have agreed to not insist on friending him as long as I have his log in information.)
2. This is how the world communicates, and complaining, whining, or criticizing is like....well like insisting that we only teach creationism in schools...but that is a whole other issue.
3. As far as safety - the same rules and guidelines apply in this new digital world as in the world I grew up in. I mean my family shopped at the same Sears that Adam Walsh was kidnapped from and another kid around the corner from me was kidnapped and found floating in the neighbor's pool, and I actually had my own close encounter when walking home from school one day - so do not tell me today's world is any more dangerous!
4. As far as sex - yeah - it is technology that is spurring on all this naughty explorations (um...note sarcasm there.) Yes Adult Content it is more available and easy to access than before and it actually really pisses me off that if you mis-type Facebook a very X-rated site will come up - BUT that is what filters are for.

As far as this line

This generation of children will be defined by loneliness and reliance on easy forms of interaction.

I am not only SCREAMING BS - but I will quote from a wonderful book, Revolutionary Wealth -

The kids are so smart these days, they can find, retrieve, disseminate, produce any piece of music or technology now on the Internet. They can take a song, send it to a friend in North Africa, remix it how they want, make their own video for it and make it their own... All that technology makes them so powerful. And they can do it in no time.

Our kids are defined by their global connections of friends with similar interests as opposed to the limitations of their schools and community. Their minds will be open and their ability to express and explore will be freed -

My recommendation from one parent to any other parent reading this - get involved, learn, explore and set yourself free...

How Susan Boyle reached us

The latest Internet buzz is about Susan Boyle's song on Britian's Got Talent. I watched it yesterday and I have to admit I was sitting in the office with tears streaming down my face.

However, what I keep reading is people saying things like, "oh look how cynical we all have become" and "see do not judge a book by it's cover."

I think there is more to her instant fame than just the surprise voice and all of our initial reactions upon first being introduced to Susan Boyle. I think she did  more than show our cynical site. I think, for many people, me included, she reminded us to believe in ourselves.

Susan stepped on that stage and everyone sneared and rolled their eyes. Now, honestly you can not blame the audience for doing that. Shows like American Idol and Britains Got Talent have consistently exploited people who severely lack talent and tend to make complete fools of themselves. From the start Susan seemed to fit that type.

But when she began to sing - we all were shocked.

So wonderful. She is a woman from a small village who does not look like a Barbie doll but has a voice of an angel. Why the overnight Internet sensation? Why are people so moved to tears (myself included) everytime they watch the video. I mean even my 14 year old son posted the video on his Facebook page. Susan seems to have reached all ages, all personalities, all over the world.

My guess is that it is not because she showed us how cynical we can be, as the female judge suggested, my guess is because we have all been in Susan's shoes at one time, standing in front of someone or many people who doubted us, having to face our own fear and summon up enough belief in ourself to perform, and then perhaps were lucky enough to feel the exhilarating sensation of winning the crowd over.

We have either been lucky enough to experience that and were able to re-live those emotions vicariously through Susan Boyle or we have held ourselves back and are still wishing we could summon up the courage that Susan displayed and we look to her for a little inspiration.

So, I do not think that Suan Boyle is an overnight sensation because she pointed out our flaws, I think she reached us all by tapping into our own self doubts and giving us a shot of inspiration.

God Speed Susan Boyle.

Looking on the "bright side" but also a lesson for better days

Several weeks ago my friend suggested that traffic did not seem so bad anymore and he assumed it was because so many people are out of work right now. After he mentioned that to me I did notice that traffic does seem a bit lighter. I just mentioned it to my husband who also agrees and added that parking downtown is a lot easier lately too.

Well - I guess that is the "bright side" of a down economy.

However, it got me to thinking. Right now our unemployment rate in GA is 8.6% (ouch)  - but wait a minute - that is less than 10% of the people not on the road and it is that much of a noticeable difference?

So, when we do get back up to speed - we will still have an unemployment rate of around 3% - so really we are looking at about 5% of the drivers who are typically on the road - not on the road and that 5% is making a difference.

Um...hello - can we please start telecommuting, ride sharing, implementing more flex time...I mean I suspect if we put just a little effort into just thinking about relieving the traffic congestion we can get 10% of the cars off the road during peak traffic times.

I truly believe that many people do not even try to make their small contribution to the bigger problems because they do not feel it will make a difference, but it does - a little bit adds up fast. So whether it is driving smart or saving your pennies (which my saved pennies have rescued me more than once - a story for another day) or a little smile or words of encouragement - do something small everyday - it really does get noticed.

Glad I read this

when people (including my mom) send me emails with "special" messages and insights I usually delete them without even opening them. It is a time management thing...

The message below was sent by a friend and I went to delete it but instead it opened - and then caught my eye (cute dogs and flashing words were in the email).

After reading it I realized how incredibly appropriate the message was for what was on my mind...weird huh?...here you go-- hope it brings you insight....

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.

Everything's Going To Be OK (at least for most of us)

For a long time (since early childhood actually) I have been arguing that the world is getting better not worse. The back-story of that is when I was 10 my mom started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses and would take me to the meetings. The main premise of that group is the world is getting worse and will end soon. I never bought that - not even at the age of 10.

I guess because I have always been fascinated by history I have known enough history to know that the world is getting better. Even today as we turn on the news and hear reports of more families being homeless, more people losing their jobs and more terrorist killing dozens of people in the middle of a street, I still know enough history to know - that as horrible as these events are, it is still better than it used to be. The world is improving.

You hear people say that the media has desensitized us to the horrible events and in some ways I agree. We would go crazy if we allowed ourselves to feel the intense emotions that come when we hear of a child being abused or killed or a mother, father, brother losing his life because he was simply at the wrong street corner at the wrong time or people who are tortured for their spiritual beliefs. But we are not being desensitized we are becoming more and more aware. Wars are fought differently today, people help strangers in far away lands more and we simply do not accept unfounded prejudicial views as easily as generations that still live today once did.

Since the beginning of this recession/depression I have been saying this one "feels" different than the last couple of recessions I have experienced. I recall the recession of the late 80's early 90's which was when I started working for the first time. I still feel the pain of the recession of 2001-2002.  But this time it is different. I have been telling people this is not a cyclical recession, this is chaos. This is caused because of how rapidly things are changing and we are in a state of chaos as some people run so far ahead of their time while others are left so far behind.

Les and Glenn, the founders of Fuzebox have been discussing a book that they highly recommend called Revolutionary Wealth. This weekend I started reading it. I am only on page 22 and already I see that it is confirming all of my thoughts about this state of chaos. I found it interesting how they even talk about how the "Wealth Waves" impact family structures (page 22). It reminded me of a paper I wrote in college where again I argued that we were not seeing a decline in the family but that we were in a state of chaos as we experienced a change in family structure.

This book does a wonderful job specifically outlining the factors that are causing the acceleration in change. But considering we humans are creatures of habits it will be a struggle over the next several years. But when you read about the evolution of mankind and how each Wave brought more wealth to more people, more opportunities to raise to new intellectual and spiritual heights, you realize these are exciting  albeit turbulent times.

Everything's going to be OK - if you are willing to adjust, adapt, and grow/evolve. If you are determined to go down and believe this is the end of the world, well history shows you will simply be creating your own self-fulfilling prophecy.

The future is in our hands and we have more opportunity than ever.

Venting

Actually - I am not sure that I am really upset enough to call it venting. I really am not upset at all - it is more that I am observing a negative behavior pattern that I wish did not exist and so I am going to discuss it - which would be like venting, if I was writing this with an angry passion.

This is to some of my friends that I have learned so much from, who have amazing talents and skills but who shoot themselves in the foot and tend to exhibit the EXACT SAME behaviors that they themselves criticize - which is unfounded, uniformed, unenlightened judgement.

I am not one to call anyone out - sorry - so this is going to be generic, specific examples, yes, but no names.

I was at a meeting on Friday with a client. A client who would benefit from the knowledge and insights of one of these friends, but because her blog is full of negativity, un-constructive criticisms and foul language it is going to be hard for me to position my friend as a credible resource. I believe she is and will continue to work through this, but please people, if you have a complaint, blog it by all means, but decide FIRST what you REALLY want the end result to be and look at your contribution from the eyes of the person or organization you want to change. Are you contributing to change or are you alienating yourself from being an influencer of change.

This leads to my other observation of the tech savvy people who know how to and have the time and interest to be part of all the leading edge social networks. It does not make you "cool" to blast and belittle those who are trying to learn and who are wanting to figure out how these new technologies fit in THEIR  lives.

Also, just because you have a large network of online of friends and you all have the same skills and interest and together you have some achievements DOES NOT make you more knowledgable than others in social media who have MUCH DIFFERENT agendas!!! Please stop trying to compare apples with spinach! Also, if you would STOP patting yourselves on the back so much or stroking your own egos and start LISTENING to people who have had more overall success than you, you just might be able to turn your knowledge into greater achievements, I'm just sayin'

Again, I am speaking of people I like and learn from, but not only have I learned what to do, you are also showing me over and over again what not to do, and I wish that you would stop doing that.