So...What's Next?!?

Suck Up to the Boss

Last week Bill Clinton was on The Daily Show. I am a huge fan of Bill Clinton and of The Daily Show, so this was, to me, the best episode.

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Something that Clinton said has stuck with me:

"You know we only have one president at a time so I put on whatever expression he thinks I should."

"You should always suck up to the boss"

This is not something that is in my DNA. I know it is a DNA thing, because I do not see it in my parent's or my kid's.

However, over the years I have been a subordinate and a leader/boss and I have begun to understand the authentic value of taking the stance of "sucking up to the boss." I do have my guidelines and legitimate reasons why though.

1. You need to be able to respect the boss. I do not respect titles. I have seen too many people in a leadership role because they have stepped on others to get there, stolen ideas, and sucked up for the wrong reasons. I respect people. People who earn their way to the top. Those people know something that I need to know. They have earned the right to be sucked up to. For example, I really doubt Clinton would have had the same sentiment towards Bush.
2. The Boss knows more than you do. Many times I have seen "the boss" lack knowledge that I have and therefore make decisions I would not have agreed to. What I have learned through the years is the boss has different kinds of knowledge than I have and I need to trust they are doing the best based on what they know, which often times is a much broader scope of knowledge than what I have. Therefore, be prepared to share necessary information, but do not stand in the way of the boss' decisions.
3. If you help the right people succeed, they will take you with them, and when the time is right, might even support you as you lead the way. The key here is it has to be the right people. You can waste a lot of time and even smear your own good name by trying to help people who are simply "all talk" "full of BS" or "overly self-absorbed."  

So, in thinking about this I began to question the limitations of Pride. Pride is a very odd thing, in that it is very positive in that is boost a person's self esteem and is the foundation of confidence, but when reached in danger zone levels it is one of the 7 deadly sins where you can only see your own achievements and lack the humility to believe in others. Clinton has had some great accomplishments in his life, but he still has the ability to find the humility to "suck up to the boss."

Navigating Political Waters

I have been reading a book titled "It's All Politics" by Kathleen Kelly Readon, Ph.D

The book is basically about how to navigate through corporate political cultures. She does a great job showing how some people, very smart and talented people, can get pushed around and how others tend to manipulate their way through a variety of situations.

Recently I have experienced dealing with a pathologically political culture. An office that would be a perfect set for a dramatic sitcom with all of the evil and dysfunctional characters. Fortunately this is not a place I need to report to on a day to day basis, but my brief encounter has helped me to remember some important lessons that are needed to survive in such an environment.

1. Give people a shovel and a mirror. This is something I learned several years ago when a woman in my office decided she did not like me and chose to twist every word I said against me. I had not been her first target though, so I knew not to take things personally. Each time she tried to sabotage me, I allowed that to be encouragement to highlight my strengths and accomplishments, ultimately setting the stage so that her attempts would only bury herself. Hence I gave her a shovel. The mirror part is that I know it is better for someone to recognize the damage of their actions on their own than for someone to tell them, so instead of confronting this person, I just imagined her stumbling across a mirror and recognizing what she has done.
2. Do not align yourself with an avalanche. This is something that is a constant struggle for me. What this means is when people's professionalism starts crumbling, do not put yourself in the path where you allow your own professionalism fall with theirs. As I said, this is really hard, especially if you find yourself on the receiving end of an unjustified, unfair attack. I often avoid the avalanche by walking away from the situation, but I have learned that is just as harmful. The best course is to create some sort of protective shield. I do believe people who are able to keep their cool when being attacked are some sort of super heros. Obama being their leader.
3. Trust that others can see reality. That is what has carried me through some of the toughest situations in my career. I know who I am and I know what I do well and what core values I have been true to. I also know enough to know that I have to be responsible for myself, that depending on anyone else is risky. So when someone decides to go on the attack, I have faith that my reputation can withstand the attack, and ultimately make the person on the attack look bad (shovel and mirror) and I know I can survive the attack because I can take care of myself. I am not leaning on any one person or situation that can be manipulated to destroy me.

Admittedly the reason I am reading this book is because I realize I have a lot to learn about navigating the political waters of corporate America. I still believe in my gut that if a person works hard and is honest everyone will want to support that person. I am still shocked and hurt when someone does something against me, even during those times when I know it was not personal, just them acting out for  their self preservation.

I guess the latest lesson I learned is about forgiveness. It is something that can only be given, never expected in return. It is very much related to the situation above of not being aligned with the avalanche. To forgive someone who will not return the favor is like wearing that protective bubble to keep your cool when  their cool has crumbled. It is a trait that is admired by many but practiced by few. I believe it is the core trait of a person who is a master at navigating the shark infested political waters of this world. The best way to get through is to keep forgiving others for simply not being up to the task.

Has Social Media Ruined HS Reunions?

Next year is my 20 year HS reunion. There is a Facebook group and the planning has begun.

There were 565 students in my graduating class, I know this because my GF was #57, missing top 10% by 1. That is a lot of students. Yet only 60 or so came to the 10 year reunion, and of those 60 maybe 10-15 of them were people I actually knew well enough to remember 10 years later.

When I graduated HS I immediately began to lose touch with my friends. Within 2 years there was only one friend I stayed in touch with. Life moved on, new people entered and exited, new jobs, new adventures, new cities, new schools, and a new family with new responsibilities. By my 10 year reunion I could only name a few dozen people I was friends with in HS.

As social media began to bloom I began to find those few dozen people online. Char and I have always stayed in touch with, but then I found Michelle, Claudia, and Neil. When Facebook burst into our lives I found Matt Kennedy and Chris Irrizarry and that whole gang.

This past year I have traveled to SC to re-connect with Mhari and to AL to re-connect with Lisa and to DC to re-connect with Chris. I keep tabs on how Nikki and that group of people are doing through FB newsfeeds and I know that when I make it back down to S FL I will visit with them.

So, when Char asked me about going to our 20 year reunion I asked, "what is the point?" To pay money to go to some dinner where I may or may not know the people who will show up? I guess it depends on if they use social media to showcase who is coming so that I know who I will get to see. There are still a handful of people who are not on FB yet that I would love to connect with, but do I need to pay for a plane ticket and dinner ticket just to see if they show up, or do I wait for them to join Facebook?

I am sure there are many different stories and perspectives about how Facebook and other social media channels have impacted reunions, but for me, it has made them less valuable. 

Besides, if I do not go, I can stay in denial that it has been 20 years since I graduated.

Week in Review

A good week.

Family

The kids are getting in the groove of school, as am I. My youngest is having his standard challenge of focus...but I think his teacher this year is not going to be so fanatical about it. Yes I believe focus is important, but that the TRUE challenge is he gets bored. This is standard in my family tree. However, I see a bit of maturity in him, which gives me a bit of hope.

My oldest shows signs of focusing on his career. He has mentioned more than once that his participation on the debate team will help him get in college. Today I volunteered to participate at the Digitainment booth at the Atlanta Music Convention. There was a room specifically of the US Gaming Arena, and they invited Digitainment to host a booth there. I also recruited my son to be there.

They had plenty of games to keep him busy. 

He also got to exercise his social skills beyond his core group of friends, which is something I am going to encourage him to continue practicing.  My goal is to get him to continue going to these core networking events with me so that he can learn about the career options that exists, practice his business networking skills and perhaps find jobs that will be relevant to his career goals. 

Concept Hub

More good meetings, more proposals. I HAVE to tell you that I brought a client to StudioPlex Studios to meet with Les Ottolenghi and I could NOT have been more proud of how that meeting was handled. 

I also had the GREAT privileged of being the presenter for Training Pros Executive Round Table. 

My approach for that presentation was that Social Media impacts EVERY department in an organization and that a social media policy and strategy NEEDS to be part of the organizational culture. Here are the slides of the presentation.

Mapping Corporate Goals

View more presentations from Concept Hub, Inc.

The event was at The W in Buckhead. It is an absolutely beautiful facility. Here are a few pictures;

 

 

Community 

I love that I have set a content calendar for this blog. If you have not noticed that pattern yet, on Monday and Wednesday I try to blog about leadership ideas and on Friday or Saturday I write a week in review which encompasses my family, my career, and community activities. I then my post a weekend blog.

This content calendar keeps me focused on what I need to do to develop content for the blog, which keeps me committed to doing something noteworthy in the community.

So this week I get to tell you that I and Concept Hub are very much involved with promoting the Arts and Humanities Month in October. I will also be presenting on October 9th. More and more I am drawn to the vibrant activity  in Atlanta relating to Arts and Entertainment and I feel privileged to be involved in highlighting the talent that lives in this city.

I am also staying continuously involved with the Atlanta Children's Shelter. This week I hope to bring my husband to the shelter and share with him why I am so impressed with the work they do. I also hope to donate some of my younger son's nicer clothes and toys to the shelter and let him understand what these donations are providing for children who are facing some hard times right now.

For the remainder of this weekend I am in planning mode. I have a new project with a new client and a few new directions that I am navigating. I also plan on organizing the house a bit and even getting the traveling dump known as my car cleaned out.

Overall....It's all good.

The Price of Knowledge,The Value of Wisdom

Honestly if I was stopped in the street and asked what is the difference between knowledge and wisdom, I would be stumped for a few moments. I think my answer would be;

Knowledge is based on things you have learned, either through instruction, experience, reading a book, or observation of others.

Wisdom is knowing how to live your life based on the vast amounts of knowledge that has been acquired. 

So, I have been looking over some financials recently and I would guestimate that I spend at least $15K a year on learning what not to do. This would be what my poor decisions and mistakes have cost me, not calculating opportunity lost. 

Alright, let's put that in perspective. A good formal education would cost at least that much and all you get is instruction. What I received was pain, regret, a few kicks in the ass, and enough deterrent, in some cases, not to make the same mistakes again. I have gained a little bit of wisdom...at a very bargain price.

I have been reflecting on the past 4 years, where I was before I started this company, where I am now and where I want to go. The value of what I have learned over the past 4 years is truly priceless. But the ROI of what it has cost me, both in money, time, and stress, can only be realized if I apply what I have learned to the way I live my life; If I can turn my knowledge into wisdom.

One thing I have learned is the importance of looking past the monetary value of a proposition and looking at the holistic experience of being involved in a project. I have witnessed the constipation of success due to a blockage caused by monetary stress (nice visual huh?)

I have seen people not give their all because they did not feel they were being compensated for the value of their all, and the end result is they harmed their own reputation and were never offered the next prize because no one knew what they were capable of. I have seen people stress about money to the point they are blind to the fact that the opportunity in front of them is the experience that will enhance or expand their skill set and make them that much more valuable.

I am amazed  that people are willing to pay private schools and universities an enormous amount of money for knowledge, but will not take risks and push themselves to gain the experiences that will lead to wisdom.

Job Search Strategies from the Trenches

Several weeks ago I set up a private social networking site to support job seekers. It is private so that the members can freely express themselves without their comments showing up in Google searches.

I re-purposed the book I wrote about how to find a job into several groups. I have posted videos about social media basics. I have an RSS feed of articles related to finding a job in today's market, and a few times a week I post a blog based on something I have observed.

If you, or someone you know would benefit from this site, please let me know (sherryheyl{@}gmail.com) and I will invite you in. In the meantime, here is todays' message.

Are You Working Your Plan?

I work from home for the most part, and I am always looking for a job (i.e the next client). There are a number of traps that I fall into and I know I am not alone in doing so.

Trap 1: Distractions

The house needs to be clean, bills need to be managed, and projects need to be done.

When we are not leaving our house at 7am to get to an office where we have 100% focus on the job at hand, we tend to allow our minds wander into weekend mode. Remind yourself, you are NOT on vacation. You have a job to do and your job is to find a job.

Find a place where you can focus on that task. It might be your home office, the kitchen table, the back porch or in your bed. For me it is whichever room is the cleanest at the moment. I stay away from the ones that have projects calling my name.

Also, as well all know, Starbucks is many people's office of choice. If you know other people looking for a job, organize times where you meet and work together, as long as you are working and not socializing. Make sure you have an agenda set of tasks you would like to complete together. In fact, make a check list everyday. It is a great opportunity to allow yourself the feeling of accomplishment during a time when you might occasionally be feeling displaced.

Trap 2: Exploring your creativity.

I am all for taking this time to figure out who you are and what you want to do in the next phase in your life, but at the same time you also cannot take your eye off of the ball. I have seen so many people, including myself, fall down the trap exploring a creative path where there is no pot of gold at the end.

The trick is to set priorities and justify your actions. Have you found that you finally have the time to explore you family tree? Great, use the time and opportunity to learn new tools (um social media, Internet search tools...) during the process. You will be teaching yourself a new skill that you can leverage to get your next job. Work on things that will get you to your next step. It does not have to be all drudgery, just make sure you keep your eye on the ball.

Trap 3: Hopelessness.

Last night I went to my son's High School for 9th grade parent night. I heard the college counselor tell us the many ways our kids can screw up and not get into college. THEN she told us even if they do everything right, they most likely will not get into any of the well known colleges such as: UGA, GA Tech, FSU, UF....and so forth.

At that time I realized why I screwed around in High School so much. What was the point, ME getting into college was absolutely hopeless.

These are the messages well meaning teachers, friends, peers and reporters tell us ALL OF THE TIME.

I have 2 degrees from FSU.

There is ALWAYS A WAY! Do not listen to what the chances of success are, just focus on striving for success. Nothing is hopeless until YOU decide it is.

Nothing Changes Until You Do

and are you willing to work for it?

These are two ideas that keep coming to my mind.

I have been thinking about the need for change. The need for change in our schools and the need for change of how we expect to be taken care of. I have been thinking a lot about how as we move from the "industrial age" to the "digital age" one of the major side effects is that we are moving from a world where our employers and unions took care of us to a more individualized world; where we get to make individual decisions, but at the same time we are going to also be required to take care of ourselves.

This does not mean everyone becomes an independent contractor, though I believe more and more people will be.

This means that if you want to keep your job you have to take responsibility to make sure that the company stays in business, and that you personally keep your skills up to date.

I don't think people in our society really understand this.

For so long children were mandated to go to school, it was not their choice, there really was not freewill. For some kids this is even true about college. They were just shuffled through the system. When they joined the workforce their employers shuffled them through more training programs, programs that told them how to do their job.

But over the decades there has been a series of rebellion to this way of life. People want freedom of expression, they want to explore who they are and what they want to contribute to society. They do not want to be constrained to the dull life of a factory worker. Over the decades there have been cries for freedom!

And slowly but surely freedom is what we are gaining. We are free to express ourselves, and we are free to take care of ourselves. The technologies are available for us to learn what we want to learn at the pace we want to learn it, but are we learning how to use those technologies? There are opportunities to start new businesses no matter how large your chosen market is or even where the market is located, but are we willing to do what it takes to be a business owner?

Even those who prefer to work for a company but plea for more freedom within their choice of employment, I wonder, are they ready for the responsibilities of more freedom?

Check out this article about the stupid things people say on Twitter about their jobs such as;

 

Are they ready for the responsibility of freedom?

Our schools are not going to change as fast as we want them to and our employers are not going to change in the ways we want them to, not when they have to meet the needs and demands of such a diverse group of people. If we want to see change, we need to see it in ourselves but most importantly we have to be prepared to take on the responsibility of what that change will mean, which I promise you, it will mean more work. Possibly more rewarding and more creative work, but overall - more work.

An Entrepreneur's Journey - Part 3

What happened? Where did all your content go? What is going on here?

If these questions came to mind the past few days after to coming to my blog, hopefully this post will explain.

I was getting bored with my blog, the inspiration was no longer there, the flame was dying. My last couple of posts were really me just trying to put something up.

I thought about it for a long time and realized that I had outgrown the blog. I was ready for a new phase.

The first blog I launched in October 2005 was deleted on 1/23/08, not by my choice, but by a weird twist of reality. I missed it for a long time. There were a few posts that I considered some really good writing, but at the same time it was an opportunity to launch a new blog for phase 2 of my life.

Phase 1 and therefore blog #1 focused on my exploration of what I wanted in my life, what pushed my buttons, and what my core values were. It was the various experiences and feelings that pushed me to start my own company. But I was very afraid of what I was getting myself into, and I explored those feelings often as well. At the time it was deleted I had entered into a new phase of this journey. I was taking myself more seriously and believed in what I was building but needed to find a direction and therefore was seeking guidance.

Phase 2/blog 2 really explored the many different places I received guidance and the directions I was going. Oftentimes I was posting a pep talk that I was giving to myself or exploring my authoritative voice.

Once I realized that I was losing inspiration to keep posting and decided I needed a fresh start I made the decision to delete my blog. Before I did so I went through all of the posts and did not find anything that I wanted to keep.

If you think about a journey, you keep moving forward, you do not hold on to the past. You learn from your past, but it is the past. I had no reason to hold on  to the content of my last phase and I am ready to start this new phase.

So what will phase 3, or what I am calling part 3, bring? Well like all journeys, I can only guess, but I really won't know until we travel the path. I find that I want to explore the world around me more as opposed to exploring the world inside of me. There are so many great ideas and stories and people in the world, and I want to share that world on my blog. I am also exploring what it takes to be a great leader and a catalyst of valuable change.

I am sure I will continue to blog about my family, as they are the center of my world. In fact I have considered producing a podcast of the conversations I have with my teenage son about the gaming industry.

I am anxious to see where inspiration finds me and what we will get to learn on this new journey. The journey that has led me to new places, new experiences, new ideas, and new opportunities. A journey that has always been in control while I have just been along for the ride.

“Journeys, like artists, are born and not made. A thousand differing circumstances contribute to them, few of them willed or determined by the will-whatever we may think.”