So...What's Next?!?

Learning How to be a Team Player

I did not play sports growing up. I was on the waterpolo team briefly, but only because of sibling pressure and all I really did was hand out towels. I was really not involved with any clubs or bands. I joined one club, a charity club in high school but as soon as they tried to put me in a leadership role I quit.

Lately I have been reflecting on a high school memory. It was a lesson on being a leader or a follower. I hated the lesson and really did not find it valuable, accurate, or any way  beneficial to anyone. The instructors/counselors gave us questionnaires and our answers were supposed to expose whether we were leaders or followers. I did not want to be a leader. I thought of myself as being in a third category that was not being considered. I was independent.

So I answered the questions trying to avoid being tagged as a leader and was instead tagged a "follower" which was at least funny to me.

What I realize lately is that I have spent so much of my life wanting to be independent that now that I have accepted leadership roles and want to embrace the opportunities in my life I have something else to learn, how to be a team player.

Now, I was told this by one of my coaches last year, but I just assumed he had not been paying attention to who I am. I mean, I won the "peer evaluated team work award" multiple times in a previous job. I would say one of my best attributes is bringing people together to work on a project and I get along with most people, not all people, but who gets along with all people? I have also been told numerous times in my career that I am a very good listener and know how to respond to people individually. Damn it - I am a damn good team player!

But recently I have allowed myself to take on responsibilities that push the envelop a little more and I find that the reason people think I am a team player is I do not or try really hard not to let anyone down. But that often means I just do everything myself (independent). I also tend to be stubborn and not open to collaboration or to cooperation with team members who are not thinking along the same lines as me (independent). As a leader I may be able to bring people together but I am still learning the art of delegating and setting expectations. It is an art, because I have delegated and set expectations and have gotten backlash from it that I was being too bossy...I know that leadership should not be considered bossy - so I am trying to figure out that balance. I suspect it goes back to the idea that I need to learn how to collaborate and cooperate as well.

But here is where I am now. There was a time, within the past several months actually, that I would look at this situation and say "I am not cut out for this, I quit." However because of several wonderful people in my life I learned that I did have many talents that were needed and that were not being utilized properly because I was not willing to exercise the areas where I was weaker. The people that seem to have it all, have it all because they do not quit, they work on areas they need to work on and grow where they need to grow.

I am no longer ashamed when I have to say "that is an area that is still a learning curve for me" I am actually proud now. I know that the people around me have faith in me that I will learn and get better and they are able to see who I can become as well as appreciate who I am now.  They are teaching me how to lead and how to work as a team by simply providing patience as well as good examples for me to follow.

However, if anyone has any good books they recommend on this subject - let me know.

Activism vs Attachment

This morning I visited the Atlanta Soto Zen Meditation Center for the second time. This time I bypassed the newcomers class and went straight in to sit in zazen. I had a lot of questions on my heart and my mind needed to be quiet so that I could find some answers.

The first answer I discovered comes from the realization that there is something I have been lacking my whole life, which is order/structure. On my first visit to the Zen Center during Q&A I questioned the need for rituals. A question which led into a 30 minute dialog about the need to know what to expect, a need to be able to immediately get into the right mindset based and the imprint you have from basic rituals. I was assured that the rituals were not in place as a means to tell a person how to be, but to establish an order within the community and to set expectations for yourself. Today I realized I need more order/structure in my life and perhaps that means creating a few personal rituals for myself.

The second thing that came to mind was leadership. Specifically I found my personal understanding of leadership. I believe we each are leaders in some way, the difference is how many people and which people are following you. Each action we take we become an example, we show a way of being. We do not need to consciously state "I am a leader" in order to lead, we simply live a life that others find worthy of following.

That led me into my third answer which was to live in the present moment. I tend to think too much. I dwell on the past or I try to predict the future. This morning I really began to understand that there is only now, this moment. In regards to the past, I no longer have a choice, it's done and over with. In regards to the future I have no choice, there are too many variables at play, but at this exact moment I have unlimited choices of what to do, what to say, what to think and how to feel. The actions of the present moment lead us to the next moment where we get to make new choices again and again.

After meditation we have a discussion topic with Q&A. The topic today was related to political activism, specifically around the environmental changes. Buddhism stresses the idea of non-attachment, but the question is how can we be active, make a difference, and also embrace the idea of non-attachment?

Although that was not the exact question I walked in with it was very much related. How do you make a difference and still embrace non-attachment? Where is the balance?

I was the first person to be called on and I shared my answer of Leadership, Order, and Living in the Present. Other answers that came from the group also touched me and provided insights for my own personal questions.

One of my questions is "where does thought come from?" That is a question I often struggle with, as my thoughts often dictate my actions and every action causes a re-action, but where are these thoughts coming from? When I sit in mediation what voices am I quieting and what insights am I supposed to pay attention to? One girl in the group who recently decided to go to Africa to help out mentioned how her choice was based on sitting in mediation to clear the way so that she can hear where the flow of the Universe needed to take her next. That makes a lot of sense to me.  I understood today that thoughts can be just noises, echos of other people's words and sentiments, but what I am searching for when I go into mediation is that voice that comes from inside that is packaged with the right feelings but is also void of a sense of self.

Another answer today came in the form of questioning the difference between attachment and addiction. I know what it is like to live with a person with an addiction, but I still have not figured out what I can do about it. Perhaps I have been attached to thinking there is something I can do about other people's addictions. But there isn't. I am learning to understand addiction more and more. Today the person who brought it up mentioned that an addict does not even realize what they are doing. That is true, and yet I found myself getting in the face of addicts to show them what they are doing, not backing down, not letting go without regard of how the addict may in turn want to hurt me. I remember getting a bloody lip from my father once, but I kept on him. As this person in the group continued to explain his answer, he said the difference is when you're attached you know what you are doing and you continue to do it because you expect a certain outcome. Indeed. You are indeed hoping for a positive outcome.

So the question returned to activism vs attachment and the answers returned to taking care of yourself first, leading the way, and living in the present moment.  Stay active with positive thoughts and pure intentions, but do not cling to any specific outcome.

A World of Choices

Yesterday we had a very dynamic speaker at the Enterprise 2.0 meeting.

Joey Reiman, Thinker & CEO - As founder of BrightHouse, the world's first ideation corporation.

Joey had some interesting things to say about how we are each creative beings and how Web 2.0 is unleashing our creativity. You're going to have to wait until my Sunday blog post to read more about yesterday's session - at least from my point of view. The other bloggers on the board, Dan Greenfield, and David Cohen might have something to say about the session as well.

However, a series of related events, starting with yesterday's presentation, have got me thinking more and more about how we truly live in a world of choices.

Joey talked a bit a bout how momentum starts with your ethos, your culture, you values and from there you define your strategies and tactics.

That really resonated with me.

Later in the day I took my boys out to eat. During the course of catching up with them in dawned on me that my oldest will be 14 this year (Yes these things do "dawn" on me - although I am faced with it daily - it still surprises me how fast they grow up). I opened up the conversation about getting a job. I think he could get a worker's permit to be a busboy when he is 14.

My son is not ...materialistic. He gets $10 a week from us and typically has more money in the bank than we do. He simply does not spend his money and has never been the type of child that wants much. Therefore he does not have the urge to get a workers permit to get a job.

Now my ethos, culture and values simply responded by saying "huh?"

As soon as I could make money I was. At the age of 12 I lived in a small town in Indiana and would walk down to the strawberry fields and pick strawberries for a quarter a quart. At 15 I was riding my bike 5 miles to work at a small gourmet grocery store. At 18 I was working at least 2 jobs and worked 2 jobs at a minimum until I got out of college.

My son understands that I have these values and quickly responds to my "huh?" by saying he would prefer to cut grass than to bus tables. This is a nice idea, but guess who cut our own grass this past weekend - me.

So I laughed at him.

At the same time I realize his world is so very different from my world. I had to work, he doesn't.

The entire world is very different today than it ever has been. We all have so many choices of what to do and where to work. In spite of all the talk about jobs being lost and a pending recession, we have more choices today than ever before. Barriers have been knocked down, creativity has been unleashed and the world has been flattened. Now we simply need to release the fears that we have learned that ties us to jobs we do not like. Joey threw a statistic out yesterday that 70% + of the workforce is depressed when they go to their jobs.

We do not need to be.

Only recently, I have truly accepted the idea that I am a leader. Originally I was building this company as a salesperson. I made a lot of mistakes with that level of thinking. Today I am looking at things through the eyes of a leader and asking myself why people follow me or simply support my efforts. What am I offering them at this point and time that makes them choose my endeavors over all the other choices that they have?

Today I thought about why I turn down or resist opportunities in my life. Oftentimes it has nothing to do with the financial opportunities but the opportunities that support my own ethos, culture, values and that align with the momentum I have created to move through the strategy and tactics.

So, not only has the world of choices affected how we work and choose to work, it changes how we lead and who we lead and more importantly why we lead.

More to come

 

Why I Love Working With Interns

Last night we had our kick off meeting for a campaign that we are launching for one of our clients. I have 4 interns on the project with me. 2 are majoring in PR 1 in Advertising and 1 in English.

The greatest thing about working with Interns is the academic, idealistic knowledge is fresh. They have not been in a corporate world that tells them certain things are not possible or that is not the way we do it.

I have the opportunity to be reminded of what that is like. As I explained to them, I find myself going through old textbooks to fill in the knowledge gaps that were created because I did not get the opportunity to apply what I learned in school. As I go through these books I am reminded of the "vision" and excitement I had about the career I was going to embark on. On top of that I get to work and guide students who are currently in that state of mind.

My hope is that I can be a long term good example of two things.

1. Your career path does not always go on the track you thought it would go, but that can be a good thing. As I have said before, the jobs that I took for financial reasons as opposed to creative reasons (recruiting, sales...) gave me the tools and knowledge that have enabled me to be in this very creative job I have today.

2. Always believe you can, always know you are good enough.  I really try to encourage them to take a leadership role and act independently in the projects with guidelines and coaching from us. Not only do I want to see what they can do, I want them to see what they can do.

I have a great job! They are embarking on a great internship. Their mission - to hang out on social networking sites and attend a cool party in April.

This is going to be fun.

Book Notes - The UnWritten Laws of Business

One of my favorite things to do is to roam through Barnes and Noble, pick up interesting books and flip through them taking notes. I do not feel guilty about doing this because when I find a book I like I pay full price at Barnes and Noble as opposed to getting it at a much lower price online.

Today I found a great book to buy as a thank you gift for my executive coach - but full price was quite high

- so I decided that it was the thought that counts.

I have been very fortunate the past few months in that I was able to put a small but highly effective advisory board together and hired a "coach" - These are people who have already had a tremendous impact on helping me to extract my ideas in order to paint my vision so that it can grow.

I also have the opportunity to be a role model to some UGA students. I have had the opportunity to speak there twice and will return for a third time on Tuesday night. From this experience I have been approached by students who are interested in Internships.  I have had to pause and reflect on what I can offer to these young men and women who will be entering the workforce, who are full of creative ideas and enthusiasm. Helping these students to grow into our future leaders means I have to look at what type of leadership I am providing.

One of the books that caught my eye today was called The Unwritten Laws of Business. What I personally found  interesting was that the notes I was taking were the basics to work ethics. Some that I have done my whole life because I was raised with a family that has a very strong work ethic. But at the same time I also recognized where I have let some of my own work ethic slip because I was not "reporting to anyone" or I have become "very busy" and so on.

So what I recognized is that the best way to keep yourself on track is to be aware of what you're teaching to those around you.

Here are some of the basic notes, just in case anyone else needs some reminding;

However menial and trivial your early assignments may appear, give them your best efforts.

Demonstrate the ability to get things done

In carrying out a project, do not wait passively for anyone - suppliers, sales people, colleagues, supervisors - to make good on their delivery promises; go after them and keep relentlessly after them.

Confirm your instructions and the other person's commitments in writing.

When sent out on a business trip of any kind, prepare for it, execute the business to completion, and follow up after you return.

Develop a "Let's go see!" attitude

Avoid the very appearance of vacillating

Don't be timid - speak up - express yourself and promote your ideas

Strive for conciseness and clarity in oral and written reports

Be extremely careful of the accuracy of your statements

Every manager must know what goes in his or her domain

One of the first things you owe your supervisor is to keep him or her informed of all significant developments

This final one I will share with you is one that made me pause. I have always been more independent than perhaps I had a right to be at the workplace, but I was able to get away with it. Several months before my dad died I was fortunate enough to have a "real" phone conversation with him. For years he had been fading and speaking with him on the phone was a real struggle - but for whatever reason he was almost "himself" on this last call and I was able to tell him some of things I was going through. I was explaining my frustrations with working for others and how I now worked for myself. I was being very proud. My dad's advice was that I should remember - right or wrong - your boss is still your boss. Considering I get my rebellious attitude from my dad, I found this shocking.

Tonight when I read the words
Do not overlook the steadfast truth that your direct supervisors is your "boss" I thought of my dad and all the years he had to reflect on his life and past actions and I was humbled by this advice.

I have made the commitment to listen to those who are there to lead. We all need coaches, people with a bit more experience, people who can see past the forest. Not only should we listen to them we should be very thankful that they are part of our lives.

Tonight I leave you with a quote that Tim often tries to share with me;

Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them - William Shakespeare