So...What's Next?!?

Could That Be Me?

Have you ever had a headline jump out at you and slap you in the face?

Yesterday I was going through my various Google alerts when a headline did just that. It read: Ten Reasons Your Team Hates You (They Just Won't Say It To Your Face)

I have led a number of volunteer efforts and my share of projects, and sometimes things do not go my way. Yes I said it...MY way. So, that would be one of my fundamental problems. I know this. I get this. I have been working on this.

Beyond that, I decided to run through the list to see what else I might need to work on.

10. You Don't Prioritize.

Actually I do prioritize. Actually I think that is one of the things I do well. Sometimes others do not agree with what I have decided is high priority though. Thinking back, I possibly should have taken more time to listen to what others thought were high priority. 

9. You treat them like employees

Yes, I am 100% guilty here, not just with team members but with my family members as well. I have a hard time mixing getting tasks done with touchy feely stuff. I tend to come in and get right to business, forgetting to ask about the vacation, family, and such. It's not that I do not care or do not want to know, it's just when there is work to do, I get in work mode.

8. You don't fight for them.

I actually do go to bat for people, in a heartbeat. Sometimes too quickly, perhaps. Too many times I have missed the warning signs about people and spent time defending them to the point of sacrificing my own reputation.

7. You tell them to "have a balanced life" and then set a bad example. 

I do lack any sympathy for the words "I was too busy." Especially when someone is breaking a commitment they have made.

However, I also do send emails late at night and on weekends, but I do not expect people to respond right away. But some people feel obligated to respond. I am trying to get in the habit of writing the emails and saving them as drafts, then sending them during business hours.

6. You Never Relax.

Um...no not me at all. In fact I have been accused of being too relaxed in certain situations. This is not the same as social (per number 9). 

5. You micromanage.

Absolutely not! I hate that and hate doing that. But on the flip side I have run into problems because I do not give enough direction and leave people unsure of what is expected of them.

4. You're a suck up.

Nope! But I agree with the post. Your team HATES seeing this. I recall seeing this from a superior and it turned my stomach every time.

However, I have also seen managers respect and stand by decisions that were made by the higher ups, even if they did not totally agree with it, and that is different from sucking up, and something I need to do more of.

3. You treat them like mushrooms (you'll have to read the description on the original article)

I do not do this intentionally, I just sometimes expect people to read my mind. It would be very helpful if I could give restricted access to sections of my mind.

2. You're above getting your hands dirty.

Not me at all, unless I am simply clueless of what others are experts at. Even then I would want to learn. I recall a time when I was asked to run credit cards through for a small company because the CEO did not know how to use the machine, nor was interested in learning. 1. That was disrespectful to me and 2. That caused me to disrespect him.

1. You're Indecisive

Nope...but sometimes I need some time to think things through more.

So, do the people I work with in the efforts that I lead hate me? I don't think so, but I do think I can work on areas that would help us all work together in a much more relaxed and enjoyable way.

Suck Up to the Boss

Last week Bill Clinton was on The Daily Show. I am a huge fan of Bill Clinton and of The Daily Show, so this was, to me, the best episode.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Bill Clinton Extended Interview Pt. 1
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Something that Clinton said has stuck with me:

"You know we only have one president at a time so I put on whatever expression he thinks I should."

"You should always suck up to the boss"

This is not something that is in my DNA. I know it is a DNA thing, because I do not see it in my parent's or my kid's.

However, over the years I have been a subordinate and a leader/boss and I have begun to understand the authentic value of taking the stance of "sucking up to the boss." I do have my guidelines and legitimate reasons why though.

1. You need to be able to respect the boss. I do not respect titles. I have seen too many people in a leadership role because they have stepped on others to get there, stolen ideas, and sucked up for the wrong reasons. I respect people. People who earn their way to the top. Those people know something that I need to know. They have earned the right to be sucked up to. For example, I really doubt Clinton would have had the same sentiment towards Bush.
2. The Boss knows more than you do. Many times I have seen "the boss" lack knowledge that I have and therefore make decisions I would not have agreed to. What I have learned through the years is the boss has different kinds of knowledge than I have and I need to trust they are doing the best based on what they know, which often times is a much broader scope of knowledge than what I have. Therefore, be prepared to share necessary information, but do not stand in the way of the boss' decisions.
3. If you help the right people succeed, they will take you with them, and when the time is right, might even support you as you lead the way. The key here is it has to be the right people. You can waste a lot of time and even smear your own good name by trying to help people who are simply "all talk" "full of BS" or "overly self-absorbed."  

So, in thinking about this I began to question the limitations of Pride. Pride is a very odd thing, in that it is very positive in that is boost a person's self esteem and is the foundation of confidence, but when reached in danger zone levels it is one of the 7 deadly sins where you can only see your own achievements and lack the humility to believe in others. Clinton has had some great accomplishments in his life, but he still has the ability to find the humility to "suck up to the boss."

You Cannot Teach A Person to Fish Who Does Not Want To Learn How To Fish

I am embarrassed to admit, but we just recently signed up for Netflix. We are LOVING it.

My husband and I never can get our act together to watch whatever the latest, greatest television show is at the time. We watch House, but that is because it seems like there is always an episode on.

Last week we started watching Lost. We stream the episodes on my laptop, plug in speakers for surround sound and project the video onto our bedroom wall.

Last night we watched the episode where everyone was starting to realize that they might be stuck on the island for a real long time and they had run out of food. There is a young, pretty, spoiled brat on the show who wanted to prove to her brother that she could catch a fish. Her way of catching a fish was to convince a poor male hormone to catch one for her.

I started thinking about this more today. So often we see people who we feel need to do something that would be best for them, and we try to get them to do it the way we think it should be done. You need to learn to fish in order to feed yourself. Really? Is that the goal, the end game that the person has to  learn to fish, or is the end game that the person learns to get fish?

Those are really two separate issues.

As leaders and managers we tend to expect our teams to get things done the way we tell them to. This does not take into consideration that there may be hidden talents and ideas amongst our people that enable them to get things done in a more effective and efficient manner.

Beyond that, we often face resistance when we ask a person to do a job they do not want to do. So often I have told people that to reach their goals they need to be a good sales person. I immediately see people shut down, because for many people,  sales is still perceived as a shady business. But what is the end goal?

• Educate our market
• Provide better service
• Assist our clients to meet their goals
• Find new clients that need our help

What if we position what we feel is best for others by focusing on the goal that would benefit them, the end game, and then stand back to watch how they use their knowledge, talents, and drive to reach that end game? Perhaps we may learn new ways to catch a fish...