So...What's Next?!?

Coaching the Coaches

I can say that at this moment and time I am loving where I am in life and I am also investing in many ways into where I want to be in the future.

However there are two sides to the story that got me to where I am today.

On one side there is the fact that I want to be here. I have worked hard to be here starting from a young age. I would say starting from middle school, when I began to choose books that gave me new choices and new ways to look at life than what I was presented with in my current situations.

On my schedule, within as well as a little outside of my personal comfort zone, I have continuously improved my life.

But then I got stuck. I became stagnant and lost.

When I tried to start my engine up again the speed and directions I went sometimes went out of control. Some of the things that I tried to do to promote myself backfired, actions I took became toxic, but through it all I did get noticed by some wonderful people who were wonderful coaches to me.

But that becomes the other side of the story.

I love people who can see the potential in others. I am one of those people myself. But the challenge is, for them and for me, is that we want people to live up to that potential at the flip of a switch. We tend to push unsolicited advice and to get mad, frustrated, and sometimes downright disgusted if the person does not live up to expectations we set up in our mind.

Recently I  joined the WIT book club for professional women. The book that is on the schedule for next week's meeting is Nice Girl Don't Get the Corner Office. I just finished it and took some good notes. There are a number of things I like about the book and a number of things that I do not agree with,  but I am not going to provide the book report here.

What I am going to provide is my own coaching advice, for me, as well as for all those who have tried to coach me. As I read through the book I noted areas where I need to improve and coaching tips. I also noted where I have improved over the years based on all of that unsolicited advice that many people offered and thought I did not hear or accept because I did not simply flip a switch and change my behavior.

Here is the thing. When you saw what I could be, you were not recognizing where I was currently, what I was currently accomplishing and moving through. You focused more on what you wanted than what I was doing and working toward.

As I moved through my process of development I remembered your advice and suggestions and adjusted accordingly.

A good example is how I have moved through the titles that I have given myself as I have built this company.

As I launched the company my title was Idealist, which some people liked but a particular person close to me begged me to change it saying I would not be taken seriously. What she did not realize is that I was not ready to be taken as seriously as what she wanted me to be taken. Idealist represented who I was and what I was seeking for myself at the time.

As the company developed more processes, more experience, and was able to take on more clients and bigger projects I changed my title to Chief Strategy Officer. I was confident enough to lead, but was not ready to bestow on myself the CEO title.

This year I will celebrate FOUR years of being in business...longer than any job I have ever held in my career! I have grown steadily over the years, both personally and professionally. I get to work with a team and have established clients. I am a respected member of the Atlanta community and lead many important efforts throughout the city. This year I am more comfortable with the title CEO and I have slowly been transitioning into that role.

In books like Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, there is a lot of great cookie cutter advice. Advice that I suspect many women read and then offer to other women whom they feel are acting in ways that sabotage their own career. I offer the advice to those women to please stop! Not every woman wants the corner office. I for one was happy being just a sales person at one time and did not seek any kind of promotion and therefore was very offended when such great advice was offered to me. I did not see my actions as sabotaging my career because I was very good at what I was doing and content with not moving up.

What did help was the support I received when I did want to start moving and the advice that was relevant to me for the place I was in at the time.

The advice that was offered a little too soon was probably a huge benefit to my growth as well, but  not until I was ready to hear it.

Note that all of the advice and belief in my abilities will forever be valued and appreciated, but I also regret some of the strains that it put on those relationships.

Just Sittin in Starbucks

So, I woke up this morning and decided to head to Starbucks to get a report written. I order my Grande Mocha and Non-fat cinnamon swirl cake, find my corner, plug my laptop in and get ready to focus on the project at hand.

Within an hour a group of retired people come in. One gentleman starts teasing me telling me that I am not supposed to be working on Saturday. I actually hear this often when I go into a coffee shop on the weekend to get work done. I often explain that I own my own business, which means I am always working, but that it is ok because the trade-off is I am doing what I love and I have a very flexible schedule.

I hook up my headphones to tune out the activity around me and zone in on my project. As I mentioned in my last post, some things are not going as well as I would like right now. So, the music choice for the day is spiritual, uplifting, hopeful.

Three times I have to take my headphones off to listen to the other retired gentleman sitting next to me. He caught on to the idea that I owned my own company and he had some advice he wanted to share. I am at a point right now that I very receptive to advice and stories.

He tells me he just retired with $20 million in the bank. He just sold his company. Not only is he and his wife retired, but he also was able to give money to his daughter so that she would never have to work again. This is not a story you hear very often in today's economic times.

He knows nothing about me or what I am going through. That I am KICKING myself for losing $1,000 last month. But yet he tells me as I move up I need to understand it is as easy to lose $20 million as it is to lose $100,000 (um...I only lost $1,000). He tells me about how 18 years ago he and his wife were starving and about to give away 15% of his company, but is so glad they didn't. I quickly do the math in my head (he already told me he was 68) - he was struggling at the age of 50. Here he is at 68 retired, wealthy, happy, and very vibrant.

He tells me 3 key pieces of advice.

1. Never look behind your shoulder. Do not worry about your competition. Just keep plugging forward.
2. Avoid Tar Babbies - only hang around winners (check!)
3. Reverse engineer what your competitors are doing and do it better. Find out what their customers are not getting and then figure out how to provide it to them.

He tells me customers are easy to get. The challenge is picking the right ones.

He speaks to me as though I am on the road to tremendous success, although he did not even know my name. I know it is because he just hit the jackpot and he knows it can be done.

It is amazing how the right words can find you at the right time. The right people can cross your path even if it is only for a fleeting moment.

Right now I am feeling very blessed and ready to take on the world.

Don't Give Up

I think that is one of the lessons that has finally sank in.

Problem resolution. That's not always my strength. I have a tendency to walk away too soon, to make quick judgments about the other side, and to take things personally.

I was recently coached on how I could respond differently.

It sometimes takes awhile for things to sink in for me.

This lesson is starting to sink in. I heard what my coach was telling me, I took it to heart, and I began to watch how I behave.

It's helping.

Here are some steps I am starting to take.

I am going into relationships knowing that I want something out of it as does the other person. There has to be a balance. In the past I have actually been the one wanting to give. Not knowing what I want in return, and then I feel like I have been taken and I take it personally.

Eliminate the garbage. We all bring garbage with us everywhere we go and it really stinks up a relationship. Tim Moenk was the first one to point out to me that my perspectives sometimes are tinted with my own garbage. Alright, so I need to eliminate my own garbage, but I also need to understand that the other people in the relationships are looking at things through their own garbage and I need to be patient enough to work through that and get out of their way when I need to get out of their way.

Get that monkey off my heart. I am very intuitive. I move through life trusting my heart. Anytime I have ever chosen logic over feelings I have been wrong and regretful. But there is something called "monkey mind." It is that nagging monkey that will tell you how wrong everything is, remind you of past feelings, and warn you not to take the risk again. That monkey latches to my heart and spins everything out of control and messes with my intuition.

Organize my thoughts and actions. This is the toughest one for me. I am spontaneous. That is typically seen as a good thing. But when it comes to reacting to feelings, especially those caused by the garbage and the monkey mind, it is never a good thing.

The final key is to not give up so easily. If I feel a certain way or am not getting my way, I have thrown in the white flag way too easily. There are steps I could have taken to move the negotiations further to get me further. But I just gave up.

I have to tell you, I knew that by launching my own company I would have to learn to be better at things such as accounting, management, and the creative process. I did not realize how much I would have to learn about myself.

What I Have Been Up To

As I had posted on Twitter, my house looks like I am back in college. I have so much going on that I have bought 12 spiral notebooks to track everything.

Notebook 1 -  Is for my personal coaching sessions - which are starting to find a groove. Tonight I listed opportunities for self improvement. The list is still growing. It is both humbling and hopeful. Nothing that I am listing is a surprise and in fact I could offer all kinds of hows and whys I have certain behavior habits. However the hopeful part is that with acknowledgment and willingness to work on improvement - life can only get better.

Notebook 2 - Business Finance - we are not thinking small with this company - never have. But now it is so important that I really wrap my hands around how to make this company financially healthy so that it can grow big and strong.

Notebooks 3 and 4 and 5 are our product offerings - we have listed out 11 unique offerings that can be offered ala carte or as part of a larger scope of work, not including consulting. I have defined each offering and written out the needs analysis and qualification stages for each offering, but now I am working on very specific project management steps for each project as well as roles and responsibilities for the team that would be involved.

Notebook 6 - Future offerings that we have identified

Notebook 7 - Community work such as Enterprise 2.0, AECF, and TAG's social network

Notebook 8 - Overall roles and responsibilities, policies and procedure, and overall guidelines for the company.

Notebook 9 - The 4 P's for Concept Hub and how we can improve in each area.

Notebooks 10 and 11 Notes for self improvement in areas such as sales, communications, and management/leadership.

Notebook 12 -  Family Activities - now that summer is coming up, there is a lot more to keep up with and the kids are so different now that it is hard to keep up with the goals and needs of them both as well as overall family activities.

Besides ALL of that I am working on a number of proposals, and ongoing client projects.

I am also still speaking quite a bit, though I have not been promoting those engagements as much. I recently spoke for the GA Department of HR and the Mac User Group. This week I am speaking for the National Volunteer Health Association as well as leading a discussion at the Enterprise 2.0 workshop. On April 9 I will be in South FL  running a workshop during the day and am the keynote dinner speaker for the Broward County Human Resource Association. I am speaking at Flourishing Forum on April 17, I believe I am slotted to speak at the North Fulton Chamber of Commerce on April 29 and I am teaching a class for the GA Center for Nonprofits on May 14th.

Alright - I am exhausted - going to bed now....but I leave you with a quote - because I know you have been missing them...and look it's a sports quote too!

If you are bored with life, if you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals.

Lou Holtz - The only coach in NCAA history to ever lead six different colllege teams to postseason bowl games, and a man who also won a national championship and "coach of the year" honors

Why I Love Working With Interns

Last night we had our kick off meeting for a campaign that we are launching for one of our clients. I have 4 interns on the project with me. 2 are majoring in PR 1 in Advertising and 1 in English.

The greatest thing about working with Interns is the academic, idealistic knowledge is fresh. They have not been in a corporate world that tells them certain things are not possible or that is not the way we do it.

I have the opportunity to be reminded of what that is like. As I explained to them, I find myself going through old textbooks to fill in the knowledge gaps that were created because I did not get the opportunity to apply what I learned in school. As I go through these books I am reminded of the "vision" and excitement I had about the career I was going to embark on. On top of that I get to work and guide students who are currently in that state of mind.

My hope is that I can be a long term good example of two things.

1. Your career path does not always go on the track you thought it would go, but that can be a good thing. As I have said before, the jobs that I took for financial reasons as opposed to creative reasons (recruiting, sales...) gave me the tools and knowledge that have enabled me to be in this very creative job I have today.

2. Always believe you can, always know you are good enough.  I really try to encourage them to take a leadership role and act independently in the projects with guidelines and coaching from us. Not only do I want to see what they can do, I want them to see what they can do.

I have a great job! They are embarking on a great internship. Their mission - to hang out on social networking sites and attend a cool party in April.

This is going to be fun.

Book Notes - The UnWritten Laws of Business

One of my favorite things to do is to roam through Barnes and Noble, pick up interesting books and flip through them taking notes. I do not feel guilty about doing this because when I find a book I like I pay full price at Barnes and Noble as opposed to getting it at a much lower price online.

Today I found a great book to buy as a thank you gift for my executive coach - but full price was quite high

- so I decided that it was the thought that counts.

I have been very fortunate the past few months in that I was able to put a small but highly effective advisory board together and hired a "coach" - These are people who have already had a tremendous impact on helping me to extract my ideas in order to paint my vision so that it can grow.

I also have the opportunity to be a role model to some UGA students. I have had the opportunity to speak there twice and will return for a third time on Tuesday night. From this experience I have been approached by students who are interested in Internships.  I have had to pause and reflect on what I can offer to these young men and women who will be entering the workforce, who are full of creative ideas and enthusiasm. Helping these students to grow into our future leaders means I have to look at what type of leadership I am providing.

One of the books that caught my eye today was called The Unwritten Laws of Business. What I personally found  interesting was that the notes I was taking were the basics to work ethics. Some that I have done my whole life because I was raised with a family that has a very strong work ethic. But at the same time I also recognized where I have let some of my own work ethic slip because I was not "reporting to anyone" or I have become "very busy" and so on.

So what I recognized is that the best way to keep yourself on track is to be aware of what you're teaching to those around you.

Here are some of the basic notes, just in case anyone else needs some reminding;

However menial and trivial your early assignments may appear, give them your best efforts.

Demonstrate the ability to get things done

In carrying out a project, do not wait passively for anyone - suppliers, sales people, colleagues, supervisors - to make good on their delivery promises; go after them and keep relentlessly after them.

Confirm your instructions and the other person's commitments in writing.

When sent out on a business trip of any kind, prepare for it, execute the business to completion, and follow up after you return.

Develop a "Let's go see!" attitude

Avoid the very appearance of vacillating

Don't be timid - speak up - express yourself and promote your ideas

Strive for conciseness and clarity in oral and written reports

Be extremely careful of the accuracy of your statements

Every manager must know what goes in his or her domain

One of the first things you owe your supervisor is to keep him or her informed of all significant developments

This final one I will share with you is one that made me pause. I have always been more independent than perhaps I had a right to be at the workplace, but I was able to get away with it. Several months before my dad died I was fortunate enough to have a "real" phone conversation with him. For years he had been fading and speaking with him on the phone was a real struggle - but for whatever reason he was almost "himself" on this last call and I was able to tell him some of things I was going through. I was explaining my frustrations with working for others and how I now worked for myself. I was being very proud. My dad's advice was that I should remember - right or wrong - your boss is still your boss. Considering I get my rebellious attitude from my dad, I found this shocking.

Tonight when I read the words
Do not overlook the steadfast truth that your direct supervisors is your "boss" I thought of my dad and all the years he had to reflect on his life and past actions and I was humbled by this advice.

I have made the commitment to listen to those who are there to lead. We all need coaches, people with a bit more experience, people who can see past the forest. Not only should we listen to them we should be very thankful that they are part of our lives.

Tonight I leave you with a quote that Tim often tries to share with me;

Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them - William Shakespeare